hate being left alone..

have you ever felt being left alone walking in the street .. assuming that you're with the person you've been waiting yet you're left in the middle...


" You are not pleased by many, they won't love you .. i'm the only one who is so stupid and still stays beside you"

" your dress is awful.. it's not even fashionable"..

"you think they'll love you because of you,... you wish"...

then met a group of friends.. not even close to introduce you.... as if she never cares about you..

" all these time i'm so pissed off you fucking flirt.. you think you can handle it... "


love your face!!!!!!!


the fact that you've given everything yet you are being degraded by your previous mistakes... yet she will tell you that she loves you but will curse you until you got home..

though these shitty things happen i still end up.. taking care, loving and understanding you..



i dont wanna wake up one day that fear comes despite the love that i've and you've shown me...

sobrang ewan...

nakakainis.. badtrip.. wala ako sa hulog.. i dont know what's wrong or if there's something wrong about this thingy.. i've been reprimanded for the entire week as if i never did right.. then end up pleasing me then get's back to reality.. let's define.. stupidity!!!

- something thatshows you or tell you something which is untrue.. some informations provided sucks big t ime!!! White lies but end up real fucking lie and only hunch helps you out to trigger the secrets behind the secrets...

it's not about trust that leash the painting but the colors of every angle that i'm seeing...

workaholic....

i've been working since 2003 if i may remember..

standard chartered bank- cash loan telemarketer
RCBC- OJT for remmitance
greenwich- cashier
jollibee-cashier
shakey's malate- food server
shakey's moa- food server
Teleperformance- call center agent
dakki- authorized dealer
avon- authorized dealer
back to teleperformance- SME and trusted advisor kuno..


darn it.. paulit-ulit.. have to wake-up then prepare for work.. earn money then spend it .. then earn it.. then spend it.. for all those years i wasnt able to save money sa sobrang daming luho.. and oh i happened to have the MAGIC CARD (credit card) that i was so hook-up on.. but i have to give up since im spending more than i earn..

setting-up a goal .. i wish before i reach my 30th age i was able to have my own dream house, my car and something to sustain my family..

i may not that workaholic that may say since i spend too much on signature clothes and gadgets but end up selling them even my jewelry.. darn it!!!

i make it to the point that after blogging this emotional spend-ature thingy.. i'll save for my future.. haayks!!!

(blogging at work -avail kasi ** hahaha**)

emotion -emotion--emotion

temper:

what is temper?

accdg to the online source it's a
:

1. To modify by the addition of a moderating element; moderate: "temper its doctrinaire logic with a little practical wisdom" (Robert H. Jackson). See Synonyms at moderate.
2. To bring to a desired consistency, texture, hardness, or other physical condition by or as if by blending, admixing, or kneading: temper clay; paints that had been tempered with oil.
3. To harden or strengthen (metal or glass) by application of heat or by heating and cooling.
4. To strengthen through experience or hardship; toughen: soldiers who had been tempered by combat.
5. To adjust finely; attune: a portfolio that is tempered to the investor's needs.
6. Music To adjust (the pitch of an instrument) to a temperament.



v.intr.


To be or become tempered.
n.
1. A state of mind or emotions; disposition: an even temper. See Synonyms at mood1.
2. Calmness of mind or emotions; composure: lose one's temper.
3.
a. A tendency to become easily angry or irritable: a quick temper.
b. An outburst of rage: a fit of temper.
4. A characteristic general quality; tone: heroes who exemplified the medieval temper; the politicized temper of the 1930s.
5.
a. The condition of being tempered.
b. The degree of hardness and elasticity of a metal, chiefly steel, achieved by tempering.
6. A modifying substance or agent added to something else.
7. Archaic A middle course between extremes; a mean.



... accdg to my review on my partner's "temper" well like an ice .. it melts so easily.. even a single or not so big deal topic.. instance.. or an impromptu situations.. it make's me realized that i should be exert more patience and lots of understanding for her overall.. emotions...DARN!!!

... it made me realized that if one is on fire you should be a water ir else.. you'll burn each other's behavior..

... my resoltuion for every mood swings that she shows me is to let myself understand and divert all the good things, memories and deeds that she've shown me so that i can fully understand where she's coming from..though sometimes it irritates me. but what can i do?ot lots of questions that need an answer which i know that i dont know the answer.. coz if i will splurge it out ,.. then there's no great reasons to hold on.

.. sabi nga nila ..love is not a game that children play..so tell me that you'll stay..