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Having a son..

having a son is tough.. minsan kailangan mong isipin na paano kung di sya lumaking tama .. kung agiging mabuti ka bang Ina or magulang sa kanya.. kung lahat ba nang ituturo mo ay gagawin nya ; susundin or ipagwawalang bahala. kapag lumaki ba sya , mananatili ba sya sa tabi mo ? pag-aaralan nya ba ang mga bagay bagay na gusto nyang matutunan? magiging basehan ba lagi ang kapaligiran bilang isang malaking eskwelahan lalo na pag natuto na syang lumabas ng bahay at di mo na mamomonitor ang mga galaw nya, .. siguro nga hindi, walang perpektong magulang pero lahat tayo gusto maging successful ang mga anak natin lalo na pag ito ay lalaki .. sa anong dahilan? dahil sya ang magtataguyod sa kanyang pamilya balang araw.. sya ang magsisilbing pundasyon ng kanyang magiging anak sya yung magiging sandalan ng kanyang misis sya yung magsisilbing alalahanin ng kanyang magulang kahit tumanda pa ito at sya ang magiging inspirasyon ng kanyang magiging anak na baabe kung anong dapat na lalaki ang magi...
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April 2016 Reset

when i look back on all relationships i had, there is always one thing in common. you gave the whole fucking self and yet been treated like you are not that effin' important. you run over them ; follow them wherever they might be and have been left in the middle . from a so called perfect escape; to another sweet escape; to another journey of foolishness and now inside a house that u wish will be home yet it's not. i told myself if ever i will have a family , i will place much effort to keep my partner upclose and my kid should have more time; > you can have no job but have an expensive love of labor for your kid > you can have no friends since you are building your family > you have to close your doors to opportunity just to let your partner build his own success > you can let everyone pull you down as long as you know that you are standing for what you belive in.. before i can make things happen... why can't i do it again? > hindrance will be - unsuppor...
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March feelings

I cannot say that March is an epic fail or not.. But i learned to love it. I got my new job.. Have to push myself to the limits for being bored.. I've been searching for ideas on how to convinced myself to be happy on what i'm doing.. my previous job didn't give me enough reason to stay.. or should i say it's only me. Travelling to Cubao from our crib is a hassle.. Risky and unpredictable situation.. Need to take a hell ride bus.. need to check all the humans around me .. every person is a stranger.. then i give up.. have no motivation from my boss.. pushing Sales as if we're not working hard.. Have a group of individuals that are unpredictable coz of each attitude or diverse personality.. Some are true, some are fake, some are i don't know... the working environment sucks.. No place to eat.. looks hunted.. The boss are " i don't know" i just hate their accent.. sorry i'm not being racist but i'm not used to it.. So when i decided to ...
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hate being left alone..

have you ever felt being left alone walking in the street .. assuming that you're with the person you've been waiting yet you're left in the middle... " You are not pleased by many, they won't love you .. i'm the only one who is so stupid and still stays beside you" " your dress is awful.. it's not even fashionable".. "you think they'll love you because of you,... you wish"... then met a group of friends.. not even close to introduce you.... as if she never cares about you.. " all these time i'm so pissed off you fucking flirt.. you think you can handle it... " love your face!!!!!!! the fact that you've given everything yet you are being degraded by your previous mistakes... yet she will tell you that she loves you but will curse you until you got home.. though these shitty things happen i still end up.. taking care, loving and understanding you.. i dont wanna wake up one day that fear ...
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sobrang ewan...

nakakainis.. badtrip.. wala ako sa hulog.. i dont know what's wrong or if there's something wrong about this thingy.. i've been reprimanded for the entire week as if i never did right.. then end up pleasing me then get's back to reality.. let's define.. stupidity!!! - something thatshows you or tell you something which is untrue.. some informations provided sucks big t ime!!! White lies but end up real fucking lie and only hunch helps you out to trigger the secrets behind the secrets... it's not about trust that leash the painting but the colors of every angle that i'm seeing...
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workaholic....

i've been working since 2003 if i may remember.. standard chartered bank- cash loan telemarketer RCBC- OJT for remmitance greenwich- cashier jollibee-cashier shakey's malate- food server shakey's moa- food server Teleperformance- call center agent dakki- authorized dealer avon- authorized dealer back to teleperformance- SME and trusted advisor kuno.. darn it.. paulit-ulit.. have to wake-up then prepare for work.. earn money then spend it .. then earn it.. then spend it.. for all those years i wasnt able to save money sa sobrang daming luho.. and oh i happened to have the MAGIC CARD (credit card) that i was so hook-up on.. but i have to give up since im spending more than i earn.. setting-up a goal .. i wish before i reach my 30th age i was able to have my own dream house, my car and something to sustain my family.. i may not that workaholic that may say since i spend too much on signature clothes and gadgets but end up selling them even my jewelry.. darn i...
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emotion -emotion--emotion

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temper: what is temper? accdg to the online source it's a : 1. To modify by the addition of a moderating element; moderate: "temper its doctrinaire logic with a little practical wisdom" (Robert H. Jackson). See Synonyms at moderate. 2. To bring to a desired consistency, texture, hardness, or other physical condition by or as if by blending, admixing, or kneading: temper clay; paints that had been tempered with oil. 3. To harden or strengthen (metal or glass) by application of heat or by heating and cooling. 4. To strengthen through experience or hardship; toughen: soldiers who had been tempered by combat. 5. To adjust finely; attune: a portfolio that is tempered to the investor's needs. 6. Music To adjust (the pitch of an instrument) to a temperament. v.intr. To be or become tempered. n. 1. A state of mind or emotions; disposition: an even temper. See Synonyms at mood1. 2. Calmness of mind or emotions; composure: lose one's temper. 3. a. ...
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